Home study is almost complete. Hubby and I go in this week for fingerprinting and are working on writing our Dear Birthmother letter. That is quite a task! The most important "resume" I have ever tried to create. Hubby and I sat down for several hours and got no further than the first paragraph....
People are starting to ask more about how it's all going. I need a more positive outlook on it all. It needs not to be the "second best" option for me. The amount of envy I have for everyone pregnant, trying to get pregnant, or even with the possibility of pregnancy is more than I can handle. 5 people will have their beautiful babies around me in the next two months. So, I'm on the quest for a new therapist. The one I'm trying to get in with specializes with "Reproductive Issues" and is a psychiatrist. It's a hundred dollars a session though... all the good ones refuse to deal with insurance. Stinks.
All that being said, I think I need a new blog. One that gets happy about the adoption journey. One that people can go to and see how we are getting ready for a baby. If my family followed me on here they would see a very different side of me. I'm sure that is true with most of us blogging on infertility. Although, maybe if someone of those key people in our lives read our pain they would understand a little better.
I plan on drinking a lot of beer this summer. I banned prenatals from my morning routine. I'm going to loose some weight. I've got to take this "paper pregnancy" for all that it's worth. I've got to get happy about something, this darkness is too familiar and I don't want to be there again.