Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Home for pre-christmas

Hubby and I are going home for a wedding this next week. We'll also call it an early Christmas. I am nervous about how I might feel around all the babies and my newly pregnant BFF. I guess you could say I've hit the anger stage of the grieving process. It's hard to look at tiny babies and pregnant bellies. BUT, I don't want to ever become hateful around precious little ones. Nor do I want to ban myself from interacting with those around me who have never felt the loss that comes with infertility. I fear of being the girl that refuses to go to baby showers! 
Hubby has not gotten his date yet for his "nut surgery", as he so lovingly calls it. I am amazed at his day-at-a-time approach to this trying time in our lives. He feels the loss of fertility like I do, but I guess he's able to process it better...
We started putting money away for Zlin... $1000.00 a month should get us there before the end of the year. I hope I don't regret this decision. I just don't see how else we would ever afford DE/DS? And we all thought the children were expensive after the were born...

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good for you knowing that you don't want to be that hateful woman. Unfortunately I've hit it and I'm stuck boycotting baby showers. Good luck with your pregnant bff, mine is as well.

Anonymous said...

Here from LFCA to welcome you. I look forward to reading. c'mon over and visit.

Marissa said...

I hope your "nut surgery" approach works!! The donor sperm thing is a landmind in our house, one we tiptoe around. But I can't judge, since I'm not ready to try donor embryos or adoption. But I agree that this whole "get pregnant" thing was falsely advertised!!!

DtheRN said...

Marissa - just so there is no confusion... this testicle removal will not change our azoo diagnosis. It will however lessen my hubby's chances of developing testicular cancer...

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